If only childbirth WERE full of sprinkles and strawberries.

via Imgur

These sperm cupcakes are sure to go over swimmingly with guests.

Four out of five cannibals agreed this cupcake looked delicious.

Yes, that would be a dismembered baby in the birth canal. Congratulations, mom-to-be!

Finally — a shower dessert that paints a realistic picture of a new parent’s nights with baby.

Here’s a precious “alien chest burster” baby cake. Unfortunately for guests, there is no way to consume such a cake without being impregnated by an alien. Surprise!

Ah, yes, the ol’ crustacean baby shower cake. Keep waiting for The Little Mermaid‘s Sebastian to pop up and start singing, “Under the C(-section)…

Source

If Burger King were having a baby, this would be his baby shower cake.

From the baker’s Kim Kardashian-inspired collection.

“Wassup, ladies.  Any good games on TV?”

Wow.  What a good-sized cake.  Congrats, indeed!

Don’t judge — it’s obviously cold in the womb.

I’m not blushing, YOU’RE BLUSHING.

Oh dear. This one definitely calls for a C-section. Also: she may have eaten her twin. 🙁

Just keeping you abreast of the latest baby shower cake trends.

MORE “CREATIVE” BABY SHOWER CAKES HERE>>

(Not that we know anything about being a drunk college student.  *Ahem*)

#1 – They have no problem passing out in strange places.

#2 – They gain weight by indulging in frequent late-night feedings.

#3 – They have an embarrassing lack of coordination.

#4 – They often regurgitate all over you if they drink too much.

#5 – Takes little-to-no encouragement to get them to lift up their shirts.

#6 – Have problems focusing their eyes.

#7 – Able to chug without taking a breath for impressive amount of time.

#8 – Responsive to people talking to them like a baby.

#9 – Woeful bladder control.

#10 – Blissfully unaware of people posting pictures of them looking drunk on the Internet.

But no Google Plus’ing with him, young lady.  That’s where we draw the line.

“Yo. Dude. If you shove that camera in my face ONE more time…

“Go away, Camera Lady, you’re getting in the way of my boobie juice!”

“Can’t I just eat IN PEACE for once?”

Baby sign language for “I am SO over this photo session.”

“And… THIS is for saying I resemble an old man.”

The happiest bird-flipper I ever did see.

Many of us have to disguise our true feelings about work (because, you know, we’d rather not lose our jobs) — so, to help us externalize them, we have enlisted the melodramatic talents of babies to express how we may really be feeling about work on a day-to-day basis…

With thanks to reader, John, for submitting this ah-mazing photo of his two-month-old son Jacob (who’s quite precocious when it comes to mastering the smoldering gaze, we must say)!