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3 Thanksgiving Pies That Won’t Stop Grandma From Asking When You’re Having Kids Already

Here are three delicious pies that will fill your stomach, but never your barren womb.

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If anything will make you popular this Thanksgiving, it’s bringing a pie to dinner for everyone to enjoy. But if you think it will make Grandma forget that you’re a female pushing the boundaries of her reproductive years with nary an offspring, well, you have another thing coming. Here are three delicious pies that will fill your stomach, but never your barren womb:

1. Apple Pie

Your family will drool over this flaky, juicy, two-crust apple pie as they pretend not to listen to Nana go on and on about your brother’s “beautiful family” and “don’t you want that, too?”

2. Pumpkin Pie

This Thanksgiving classic is sure to be a hit with guests even though Grandma is expressing her grave concern that you’re “not going to have anyone to take care of you when you get old.”

3. Pecan Pie

Remember that pecan pie tastes the best at room temperature as Gran reminds you that you’re not getting any younger and you can’t put a career on your holiday card, but a baby sure would look cute on there!

 

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Mmmmm… Filet du Baby Placenta

Check out these afterbirth-filled dishes!

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Looking to regain your strength after hours and hours of arduous labor by consuming a tasty meal? Then try placenta panini! (Yes, this is a real thing.)

That’s right, folks.  Master chefs Chrissy and Kathy Schilling used the placenta from Chrissy’s newborn to spice up pasta, panini and other delicious meals over the weekend — and generously posted pictures of the afterbirth-filled dishes on their Facebook page.

Although doctors claim placenta offers no nutritional benefit for people who already are well-nourished, the sisters believe otherwise.

Kathy writes:

“When I cooked it, I cleaned the surface blood off of it but kept anything that seeped out of it into the sauce. I know I was feeling pretty giddy while eating, so maybe that was some of the happy hormones effects taking place. The ‘recipe’ was pretty simple, but preparation was very fun!”

 

Real-life photo of placenta pasta

Well, hey.  As long as she wiped the blood off, it’s all good!

New mom Chrissy says:

“By taking [the placenta] in again, it was symbolic for me as a way to truly say “good-bye” to my 9-month pregnancy and “hello” to an exciting (albeit challenging) new chapter in my life. . . Physiologically speaking, the placenta is still so rich in iron and hormones even after it’s shed that I knew it’d help me in my immediate recovery from my long labor (24 hours). And it did!”

Real-life picture of a placenta sandwich

We’d love to join you for dinner, guys, but we’re too busy chowing down on this delicious chocolate-covered umbilical cord stump.  Chewy, but mmm-mmm good!

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