10.  Elastic-waistband maternity pants allow you to eat pumpkin pie in comfort. The ENTIRE pumpkin pie, that is.

9.  The opportunity to show up to Thanksgiving dinner like this:

Photo Source

8. Or perhaps show support for your favorite football team in a creative fashion:

7.  You have the perfect excuse to not host Thanksgiving dinner:  “Sorry, can’t bend over to open the oven!  Darn.”

6.  Finally — you won’t be the only one gorging on food!

5.  It’s the perfect holiday joke to break out cheesy jokes such as, “This Thanksgiving, I’m carrying my OWN butterball!”  (Ha, haaaa!)

4.  When you feel the urge to take a nap, you can blame it on the tryptophan.

3.  Your belly makes the perfect tray for carrying extra desserts.  And buttered rolls.  And bowls of mashed potatoes.  And…

2.  As the Pregnant Lady, you get first dibs on the bathroom.

1.  You can give thanks that soon you’ll be able to dress your baby in amazing Thanksgiving get-ups:

Yup!  That’s what it’s all about:  crocheted baby turkey hats!

This is NOT your mother’s teddy bear.  Oh wait — yes, it is!  A bear made out of your mother, that is.

According to London-based designer Alex Green, the placenta teddy bear is “a crafty alternative for those who don’t necessarily want to eat their baby’s placenta (remember the yummy-looking placenta panini?), but want to pay their respects to the life-sustaining organ,” by saving it in teddy form.

Also: a delicious chew toy for your pup.

Green claims he was motivated to make the bears to shake up how people think of placenta. “I was very interested in how it was discarded unceremoniously as medical waste, why it’s discarded and how we could bring it back…” said Green, who thought placentas deserved a symbolic treatment whether they’re saved or not. “It was really about provoking a debate about placentas and how we treat them.”

And now I’m sure you’re wondering: How in the world do I MAKE one of these cuddly suckers? So glad you asked!

Just grab that placenta, cut it in half and rub with sea salt — Yes, just like a good roast beef! — to cure it.  After it is dried out, the afterbirth is treated with an emulsifying mixture of tannin and egg yolk to make it soft and pliable. Then, ta-da!  You craft it into a teddy bear.

Instead of Build-a-Bear, you Birth-a-Bear!

Looking to regain your strength after hours and hours of arduous labor by consuming a tasty meal? Then try placenta panini! (Yes, this is a real thing.)

That’s right, folks.  Master chefs Chrissy and Kathy Schilling used the placenta from Chrissy’s newborn to spice up pasta, panini and other delicious meals over the weekend — and generously posted pictures of the afterbirth-filled dishes on their Facebook page.

Although doctors claim placenta offers no nutritional benefit for people who already are well-nourished, the sisters believe otherwise.

Kathy writes:

“When I cooked it, I cleaned the surface blood off of it but kept anything that seeped out of it into the sauce. I know I was feeling pretty giddy while eating, so maybe that was some of the happy hormones effects taking place. The ‘recipe’ was pretty simple, but preparation was very fun!”

 

Real-life photo of placenta pasta

Well, hey.  As long as she wiped the blood off, it’s all good!

New mom Chrissy says:

“By taking [the placenta] in again, it was symbolic for me as a way to truly say “good-bye” to my 9-month pregnancy and “hello” to an exciting (albeit challenging) new chapter in my life. . . Physiologically speaking, the placenta is still so rich in iron and hormones even after it’s shed that I knew it’d help me in my immediate recovery from my long labor (24 hours). And it did!”

Real-life picture of a placenta sandwich

We’d love to join you for dinner, guys, but we’re too busy chowing down on this delicious chocolate-covered umbilical cord stump.  Chewy, but mmm-mmm good!

Your energy might be flagging as you grow that baby in your belly, but thankfully, it doesn’t take much energy to help save the earth! Our experts impart some, um, “creative” tips for celebrating Earth Day while pregnant:

1. Conserve water by eating off your belly. Then no need to wash dishes!

2. Recycle glass jars into porta-potties! (Hey, you never know when the urge is gonna strike.)

3. Instead of driving to work, succumb to what you really want to do — staying home and sleeping. Think of all the greenhouse gas emissions you’ll save! When your boss asks why you’re not at the office, just let her know: “It’s for the environment.”

An environmentalist at work.

4. Buy a reusable water bottle that not only cuts down on plastic consumption, but reflects your feelings.

5. Compost what you eat every day!

Just imagine if people were completely truthful with their birth announcements. We mean, most every newborn is beautiful and precious and has a height and a weight and yada, yada, yada — but give us the real scoop on that little one. How entertaining that would be! To inspire parents-to-be to consider this idea, we’ve launched our first batch of Totally Honest Birth Announcements:

We can think of A LOT more than 11, but this is a good start.

MORE PREGNANCY HUMOR HERE >>