(Not that we know anything about being a drunk college student.  *Ahem*)

#1 – They have no problem passing out in strange places.

#2 – They gain weight by indulging in frequent late-night feedings.

#3 – They have an embarrassing lack of coordination.

#4 – They often regurgitate all over you if they drink too much.

#5 – Takes little-to-no encouragement to get them to lift up their shirts.

#6 – Have problems focusing their eyes.

#7 – Able to chug without taking a breath for impressive amount of time.

#8 – Responsive to people talking to them like a baby.

#9 – Woeful bladder control.

#10 – Blissfully unaware of people posting pictures of them looking drunk on the Internet.

But no Google Plus’ing with him, young lady.  That’s where we draw the line.

“Yo. Dude. If you shove that camera in my face ONE more time…

“Go away, Camera Lady, you’re getting in the way of my boobie juice!”

“Can’t I just eat IN PEACE for once?”

Baby sign language for “I am SO over this photo session.”

“And… THIS is for saying I resemble an old man.”

The happiest bird-flipper I ever did see.

With thanks to reader, John, for submitting this ah-mazing photo of his two-month-old son Jacob (who’s quite precocious when it comes to mastering the smoldering gaze, we must say)!

“I thought being weened off the boobie would be awful, but this stuff is de-lish!”

It’s futile, little one.