The last thing this poor dog needs is your rude remarks, Pam.

Friends, family members and even strange poodles at the dog park will sometimes offer suggestions–or opinions–to new canine mothers nursing abandoned kittens. Many times, although it’s meant to be helpful, it can sound more like criticism than concern and make the dog want to bite the judgmental asshole right on the ankle. To avoid that unnecessary hurt (on both sides), here are six things NOT to say to a dog nursing kittens:

#1 — Do you know those are fucking CATS?!

Questioning the dog’s ability to differentiate between a puppy and a kitten could irritate her, leading to hurt feelings and a pile of dog shit on your new shoes.

#2 — I’ll feed the kittens with bottles so you can rest. A few bottles can’t hurt.

STEP OFF, FORMULA PUSHER!

#3 — Nursing kittens will lead to saggy nipples.

Seriously, if you say that, you’re just a dick.

#4 — Doesn’t it hurt when the kittens knead your stomach?

Duh.

#5 — Are you really going to nurse those kittens right here in front of us?

A mom dog has every right to feed kittens in a public area. If it makes you uncomfortable, perhaps you’re the one who should hide your head under a dog blanket!

#6 — Would you mind if I took a picture of you nursing those kittens and posted it on social media? 

Everyone knows people go NUTS for pictures of animals nurturing other kinds of animals on Facebook. However, as you can see from the dog’s pained look above, she does not appreciate this violation of her privacy–so it’s probably best if you just do it without asking for permission, like we did.

So you are a cat lover who is a different breed all together — the kind who searches for the perfect feline-inspired pun to liven up their exchanges. But did you know your cat thinks you sound ridiculous? Read on to see how cats really feel about these popular puns.

1. Clawful 

Meaning: Awful, but in an endearing way.

Your cat:

“No.”

2. Paw-some

Meaning: Better than awesome; KITTY-LEVEL awesome.

Your cat:

“You’re embarrassing yourself, human.”

3. Kitten me

Meaning: What you say to your cat when she does something funny: “You’ve got to be kitten me!”

Your cat:

“Don’t do this.”

4. Meow

Meaning: A cute way to express urgency. “Let’s go to the groomer, Bootsy — right meow!”

Your cat:

“I’m so disappointed in you.”

5. Litter-ally

Meaning: Literally, but totes more adorable.

Your cat:

“That is litter-ally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Check out more fun — and totally factual — animal facts here!

#1 – “Not tonight, dear. I have a headache.”

Credit: The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

#2 – “OMG, I wish he’d shut up about his fantasy football team already.”

#3 – When you just started dating and discover you have different kissing styles…

#4 – …and you finally realize it’s bad enough that you have to part ways.

#5 – When friends stop you from going home with that loser at the bar.

#6 – When you’re chatting up a seemingly nice guy and suddenly get a dick pic.

#7 – That awkward moment when you realize that no matter how close you felt online, everything changes once you meet in person.

#8 – When you misunderstand a guy’s request for a “swinger.”

#9 – What your boyfriend looks like whenever you try to take a romantic selfie with him.

#10 – When you’re mad at bae, but still wanna hold hands.

Credit: twitter.com/cuteemergency

Check out more fun — and totally factual — animal facts here!

Although being a high-profile pet model for the crocheted goods business on Etsy.com may sound glamorous, it’s not always what it’s cracked up to be, as you can glean from these models’ miserable expressions.

“Happy F*ckin’ Birthday.”

“I poked my head out of a shell for THIS?!”

“It didn’t look good on Princess Beatrice and it does not look good on ME! Okay… it looks a little good on me.”

“The second you let go of me, I’m biting your big toe off.”

He’s obviously distraught because he was told he was getting the cover of Canine Glamour, only to learn the shoot was for Etsy.

“Please… take the glasses off. I’d rather not see what you’re doing to me.”

“If I only I had a magic carpet to whisk me away from this humiliation.”

“I didn’t ask you to paint me like one of your French girls. Yet here we are.”

[Source]

“Please. Don’t ask.”

[Source]

“And now they’re calling me ‘Carrot Top.’ Real funny, you guys.”

[Source]