After Lori Loughlin pleaded guilty to to conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud, she likely expected a light sentence. However, U.S. District Judge Nathaniel Gorton has decided to sending a clear signal to other parents considering making a half-million-dollar “donation” to a “private life coach” to Photoshop their “influencer” daughter into fake crew pictures to gain admittance into college by sentencing the Fuller House actress to watch all of her Garage Sale Mysteries TV movies back-to-back.

“You’ve stolen a spot that should have gone to a more qualified student, so we’re going to take something from you … your love for using your bargain-hunting skills for fighting crime,” warned Judge Gorton. “You still think somehow you did nothing wrong, you’re a woman with enviable hair and crime-solving savvy who’s also had the great fortune of repeatedly kissing John Stamos. You’re entitled, so you don’t have to follow the rules. It’s about time you feel the repercussions of that entitlement … starting with a mandated Garage Sale Mysteries marathon,” he continued.

The judge did not hold back when listing the movies she must watch without the luxury of a solid wine buzz or intermittent glances at her phone, including Garage Sale Mysteries: Murder In D Minor; Garage Sale Mysteries: Picture a Murder; Garage Sale Mystery: The Mask Murder; Garage Sale Mystery: Pandora’s Box; Garage Sale Mystery: The Beach Murder; Garage Sale Mystery: A Case of Murder; Garage Sale Mystery: Murder by Text; Garage Sale Mystery: The Beach Murder; Garage Sale Mystery: The Novel Murders; Garage Sale Mystery: Guilty Until Proven Innocent; Garage Sale Mystery: The Wedding Dress; Garage Sale Mystery: The Deadly Room; Garage Sale Mystery: All That Glitters; Garage Sale Mystery; and, yes, even Garage Sale Mystery: Murder Most Medieval.

As Loughlin broke down, admitting she should have taken the initial plea deal, the judge showed no mercy.

“After this, you’ll never want to scour crime-ridden garage sales to buy items for your resale shop again,” Gorton intoned, ominously striking the gavel.