Study: Women Who Carry a Little Extra Weight Live Longer Than Men Who Mention It

Man immediately regrets saying anything, but regret will not save his life.

A new study from the Boston University School of Public Health has found that women carrying a few extra pounds have a longer life expectancy than the men who point it out to them.

Long-term adult couples were analyzed over a period of 30 days and observed during men’s most gaffe-prone moments, such as after consuming alcohol or any time they are awake. During the study, it was discovered that the moment a man said anything along the lines of, “Were your pants always that tight?”, his odds of living even another minute decreased dramatically, based on the looks of murderous rage displayed on the women’s faces.

“The fact that she has, in fact, been indulging in too many late-night tacos is irrelevant,” says lead researcher Dr. Michael Baum. “True or not, our findings show that men who value their lives should not, under any circumstances — even if a woman asks if she looks like she’s ‘put on a few’ — note that she has gained weight.”

Dr. Baum also recommends not defending such comments with indignant phrases such as, “But I prefer curvy women!” as this will not, in any way, increase their life expectancy.